When the Sheybogan Fire Department arrived at 113 Fessenden St., the house was already engulfed in flames. Subsuequent investigation of the residence revealed the home-owner, Walter Bingham, safely asleep in a kiddie pool out back. After being roused awake, the clearly inebriated Mr. Bingham fielded questions from the Fire Chief Larry Wigginton.
"After pausing for a good 20-30 seconds, Mr. Bingham revealed that he thought global warming could be blamed for his tragic loss of residence," Chief Wigginton explained. "Mr. Bingham then went on, at great lengths, explaining the nefarious connection between carbon monoxide emissions and the increase in global tempatures. At times he would even produce charts depicting well-established, historical trends. He had science behind him, what could we do?"
"It had been a really mild winter, but this really surprised me," Mr Bingham said during an interview following the fire.
However, further inspection by the local insurance agency revealed certain flaws in Mr. Bingham's seemingly watertight argument. The insurace company reported that a small microwave was found with over 3 pounds of charred hamburger meat. The time had been set for 4 days.